Shared Loves

+JMJ+

To the Woman I love

To the Woman Whom God dreamed of before the world was made;

The Woman of Whom I was born at cost of pain and labor at a Cross;

The Woman Who, though no priest, could yet on Calvary’s hill breathe;

“This is my Body; This is my Blood”

For none save her gave Him human life. 

The Woman Who guides my pen, which falters so with words in telling of the Word.

Accept these dried grapes of thoughts from this poor author, who has no wine;

And with Cana’s magic and thy Son’s Power work a miracle and save a soul–

Forgetting not my own.

Dedication in Blessed Fulton Sheen’s The World’s First Love

“Writing is never finished,” a college professor of mine often said. “It’s just due.” Chesterton once began writing to a friend by saying “I apologize for the long letter; I didn’t have the time to make it short.” Both are applicable here.

This has snuck up on me–it may turn out to be 1,000 words too long and 100 sentences too short, but it has been quite a ride so far. Long days and short weeks, as the saying goes.

I am in a new city and I have new friends. Is friend the right word? I’m asking because the query is coupled with the question of “What constitutes a friend?” I don’t think shared interests make friends. That only makes it easy to spend time with someone.

Shared values is a deeper well from which to draw. We don’t have to have a lot in common as long as we have shared loves.

I would say our intentional community doesn’t have a lot in common. I would like to watch Goodfellas on a Saturday night–as long as the Vols aren’t playing, of course–not Hamilton or Pitch Perfect, but I did watch Hamilton and Pitch Perfect, and I’m embarrassed by how much I liked them both. I wouldn’t even be mentioning it here if one of the first rules of writing wasn’t to write like no one will ever read it, because now you’re honest. 

No, we don’t have a lot in common, but we do have a shared love: Jesus.

We have all chosen to live in intentional community, and the members with which we live, have been chosen for us.

This acknowledgement leads me to start quoting people smarter than I. This is the first, of many, from Chesterton’s Heretics:

“The man who lives in a small community lives in a much larger world. He knows much more of the fierce varieties and uncompromising divergences of men. The reason is obvious. In a large community we can choose our companions. In a small community our companions are chosen for us. Thus in all extensive and highly civilized societies groups come into existence founded upon what is called sympathy, and shut out the real world more sharply than the gates of a monastery. There is nothing really narrow about the clan; the thing which is really narrow is the clique.”

Our patron, St. Francis, in his Testament, said that the brothers were given to him by the Lord, and that no one told him what to do with them.

Whatever the case, living in intentional community reminds me of the Hebrew word hesed. It is used about 250 times in the Old Testament. It has been (so far) untranslatable–no scholar has yet to capture its full meaning, so they often use “steadfast love” or “loving-kindness.” I’m not going to attempt it because I have a preference for Greek and Latin. Pope John XXIII wrote an encyclical on how we should all study Greek and Latin (they are “a golden robe clothing Wisdom itself”). He never said anything about Hebrew.

But I digress. What does hesed mean for us in day-to-day life? To quote Fr. Ronald Rolheiser:

“Part of the very essence of Christianity is to be together in a concrete community, with all the real human faults that are there and the tensions that this will bring us. Spirituality, for a Christian, can never be an individualistic quest, the pursuit of God outside of community, family, and church. The God of the Incarnation tells us that anyone who says that he or she loves an invisible God in heaven and is unwilling to deal with a visible neighbor on earth is a liar since no one can love a God who cannot be seen if he or she cannot love a neighbor who can be seen.”

In a culture of individualism, living in community is a testament to how faith is lived in relationship, not just privately. It’s a school of love and sanctification. It’s a witness to the world of the Gospel’s message of belonging. Ultimately, the family is the domestic church, and living in community is no different. 

Question for Reflection: What are the shared loves and values of your community?