The Odd Uneven Time
Editor’s note: Megan, a DC Service Corps volunteer, uses poetry to reflect on change within her present life.
I think change is so scary because it forces us to face our inner demons head on rather than hiding behind comfort. Human beings are all creatures of comfort to some extent. Some more than others, but in every new situation we can all feel like a stranger to others and to ourselves. That’s how I’ve been feeling lately, although I’m not a stranger to these kinds of feelings. I also know quite well that this feeling doesn’t have to be a negative one. It’s just a kind of inevitable, side effect of change. As someone once told me a few years back while I was working as an orientation leader in college, “Get comfortable with the uncomfortable.” This simple utterance in conversation has carried with me through every trial and tribulation I’ve overcome since.
I don’t think I expected all of us in the Casa to form a beautiful connection so quickly, but little by little I’m starting to realize how rare these experiences, relationships, and connections might be. One night, while updating my boyfriend on life here in DC, he stopped me and said, “Whoa Meg… I feel like I’ll be meeting your second family.” I think he might be right.
Sylvia Plath once wrote in her unabridged diaries, “The best of summer gone, and the new fall not yet born. The odd uneven time.” This quote speaks to me in more than one way: in relation to the season of autumn and in relation to adjusting to my new life here in community. My excitement for autumn has become a bit of an inside joke now between me and a few friends here in the Casa, but Sylvia makes a good point when calling it the “odd uneven time.” I’m beginning to realize that the starting point for fall is a lot more complex than just a date on the calendar, especially when moving to D.C. from New York. It sometimes feels as though fall will never really arrive. But, as excited as I am to walk to work with the trees painted gold and red as the sound of leaves crunch beneath my feet, I know I’ll miss the peaceful humming of the cicadas and crickets in the trees throughout the hot, summer nights. One of my fondest memories so far here in DC was when a few of us in the Casa put together a bonfire last minute and shared laughter and smushed marshmallows that we found in the back of a kitchen cabinet. It really is about the little moments, isn’t it?
Despite all the little quirks that living with 13 other unique individuals brings to light in each other and within ourselves, all of us here connect in our understanding that we are called to something beyond ourselves. As our faith journeys continue, we must remember that, for some reason we may not fully understand, we are all called to be together at this point in each of our lives. Most importantly, we must remember to forgive each other as well as ourselves in those moments when we project our inner struggles onto one another in unhealthy ways. It’s okay! The odd uneven time.
I am truly excited for what’s to come, but working on enjoying every little moment along the way. And how blessed am I to have these beautiful people and DC landscapes around me that make this journey all the more inspiring and fun?
Reflection: How are you answering God’s call at this unique point in your life? Who is a part of your journey right now?